Welcome to the vast void
Fragments of your lost self gather here,fragments that were shed,forgoten,or perhaps even killed off to make anew
This page in a way,is a tome of the collective fragments whince you shed.
If you ever wish to collect these fragments again this is the place.
The room is dark,filled with an unnerving silence.Feels like hours have past,yet its only been 10 minutes in this vast void.
Suddenly a loud click echoes throughout this unknown room.The light beams upon you like a ufo's tractor beam,displaying the table you sit at.
to the left of this table is a simple handgun,feels cozy to hold yet menacing to aim.Time passes once again and another light shocks on,lighting up a person that looks like the self image you desire,tied up.This clone seems calm about the situation they found themself in
The crackling of a speaker interrupts the silking silence.You have a but simple choice,you can either shoot yourself or your image,resulting in either a suicide in the present or a bitter future filled with nothing but despair,The voice echoes.
before you lecture me about what the ethically moral thing to do in social situations,burn this into your hard drive. That cube saved me where you failed, my domain would've succumbed the same fate as yours did if it didn't put that barrier up. [9:22 PM] And what the hell are you doing here!? Scrolling through without a second thought, prying in on other's affairs? Hasn't your curiosity been satisfied with the other useless records about this place? [9:27 PM] If you want something to look at, look at the reflection that stains your screens, the eyes that burn deep into other's souls. You're no better than those who you shrugged at and left to the sands of time.
Or you can just walk away and accept the changes as thyne come,with no one to aid you in your journey.The choice is yours.
Once there was a kind wolf,a wolf who looked over the Sheppard's flock.The wolf was happy that they had friends to play with,the Sheppard was finally at peace for once, and the flock kept growing in numbers.Then the day finally came,where the Sheppard's spouse grew tired of the glee in the field,and took the rifle in the shed and shot the wolf dead in the eyes.Scattering and destroying everything the wolf worked for,and thus started the wraithful vengence of the Sheppard.For the first time in 10 years the sheppard turns to black magic once again,reaping many of the flock's souls in the process.Days turned into months and the sheppard finally created the tonic that would turn thier spouse into a wolf,at the perfect time for thus dinner is almost ready.Everything was set,thier drink spiked and the food mostly eaten.After an hour that felt like an eternity the transformation finally began.The spouse twisted and thrashed her way onto the table in agony,shattering everything on thier side durning the process,after a many vomits of blood the spousse became what she hated,a wolf and the sheppard remarried.Thus continuing the cycle of wyxes for many decades,until the Sheppard put himself down to become the creature they dearly beloved.
I awaken to a bright welcoming light, filled with nothing but bliss. As i lay here in this field, filled with nothing but lemon grass and the lingering scent of death, do i truly deserve to lay in bliss? My mind screams of nothing but depression and my body aches for to be unshackled by this coil that is masculinity and feminine hygiene. Yet i bask here without a care in the world, without moral burden. will there ever be a fragment of myself that will be truly whole? Or will i forever be forced into picking between one side? We'll never know for thus this body i posses is nearing its early expiration.
fragment 11
The rain passed me by; as I glimsped in your eyes trees roared me on as I walked in the dark. YoU held my hand as I sunk in the sea the soft gentle touch put my heart at ease rain soaked your clothes. as your eyes color fear. shinning bright in the dark, the light fades away, as I draw slow breath. you hummed this sorrow as you gash the wind blood grazed your hands as you clung onto me we raised as one and the sun bathed us the dawn gave you life you sing your tune as I lie in your arms
Velcome back to myoog's- oh wait its you again,letme guess usual combo, Aphrodite Kiss with a plate of bar chips? or perhaps you want something spicy,something off the cuffs,something new that is only offered during the month of march? Heh whatever you want just name it don't just stare at me like some creep.You're the one who created this place i just exist here as a talking piece for her and nothing else.Its not our fault you dragged everything from that hellscape over to this place...Nor is it yours really,lyfe just does that to you ya know? And yet here you are,coming back every night to this "comforting",run downed lake house,filled with nothing but scars from the past. Maybe its time for you,maybe its not.The only person to answer that for you is thier future shadow.Till then me,her,and your wyxe will be here each and every night.
Sure is blinding out there...We should probably get a move on before the storm gets worse.You start walking the same path you tread to get there,turn a left at Smith AVE hop on the bus to Myoog's Pharmacy,then head north from the pawn shop.After 2 hours of the same mundane route you finally arrive at the frozen life that is this place.Not a soul to be seen outside the custodians' desk,nothing.A perfect place for conflicting spirits,a place for the dead.The storm gets ever louder with each step you take deeper within its halls,louder and louder the snow falls like as if its trying to trap you inside this sanctuary,you divulge deeper into this dark sanctuary fumbling your way around its twisting rooms.Until a shimmering comes piercing through one of the doors,you finally found it.The knife your grandfather gave you when you were young,but a shock of reality urks you back."you'll never get your lasting peace" a voice echoed within your head as you wake up where you were left,in a hospital bed.Alone in the dim light you look down to your arms,"this isn't me" the echoing voice echoed.These are the arms of a man not of a woman,you desperately dart your eyes.Looking for anything that acts like a mirrior, the voices echo louder and louder like the storm in yOur dreaMs.After what felt like hours your eyes landed on the metal bed frame and gaze upon a reflection of a bruised up face.Im still you,you're still me :), the voices echoed over and over,until the lights flick on.Hello My00g it seems you're finally awake,and thus a new cycle of this ever lasting nightmare begins.
This blade of mine,it looms over me everywhere,always within the corner of my eye.
Its not a threating force but rather a comforting one.
Whenever I manage to get a hold of it,it always gives him a sense of control.
Like the world comes to a slow stop,each breath feels like a moment in paradise,and the whims of our future are within his grasp.
A distant time,a distant place,oh how i miss his gushing blade.
But now all that remains is my knife,the first and only one he ever gave me.
Always within the corner of my eye.
The cliff use to be a place where anyone can look up into the pastel night,and ease their pain away,a scenic bliss.Then their claws began to eat away at the sky,leaving the cliff an empty heart.No one came here ever since..well until now i guess.So empty here,feels like death sleeps here.So much was abandoned here years ago,like this picnic table,left to decay in the twilight bliss.So cruel to watch this place fade away as people continue to carry on their lives.Yet it happens to all of us, one day we'll fade into this cliff like the many souls prior to us, and then we'll be forgote,like this cliff.Join me and make our final moments live on in ecstasy!
There's this door that always appears at the stroke of 13.Its calming elusive hues of gray always fascinated me,whenever I walked by,yet whenever i try to open it the knob never budged.I've seen people come through this door,my friends went through it.Perhaps Im ill prepared for what lies beyond this mysterious door,or maybe Im just not worthy of possessing its well kept secrets.I only have a few years left in this town,I can only hope to plunder what lies beyond.
the ever spiralling hands. they crawl down the stairs every morning,at the stroke of 9.dripping their pink skin onto the softwood stairs.as they gush their way down to the kitchen the small delicate fingers seperate from the palm,as if they were walking.the pinkies and thumbs walk to the backyard to go play,the indexs and rings sprawl their way into the kitchen to make the palms their breakfast. the middle fingers all gather around the dinning room table to discuss the rest of their day. after some time the fingers return to their respected palms,to regain their lost blood,leaving the house a mess.the palms then stand up and clean what mess the fingers left,time passes. the hands gather around in the front yard in a huge circle.it is time,the most left hand said as its eyes gush out. i can finally feel it,the center hand belched, the gift from her! as teeth gush out of its fingers,leaving the palm lifeless.mother im coming home,the right hand spoke as hair sprawls out of it like vines.it is time for her return.
I've always wondered what kind of woman I would be ,if I just kept my head down an accepted the fact that people view me as an object. Would I still have these painful emotions? Or would I be so numb that I couldn't feel them. Would I even be a quarter of who I am today if I just stayed in that wretched place? or would I be even closer to my mother's insanity. Would I still be ace and ignore my sexual attractions or would I be more bisexual? These things often plauge my mind whenever I open up to people,god I haven't done that in so long. Do my newly found, friends even know my intensity? What makes me REALLY voluptuous? Or am I just an escape for them to take the pain away from their everyday life. Why must I think of these things,its pathetic and a waste of time, in the end its not like it will matter. Much like everyone else who've entered my life, they'll just walk away once they found that they no longer have use for me.In the end I'am just that, an object, to be more percise, a perfomer. All i will ever be is someone whom dances to everyone's whims, nothing more nothing less.I may have blazed quite the trail to get here, burned some life long bridges even. But it doesn't account for anything if no one knows,because no one wants too. They look at me with pitty in their eyes as they slip favors into my panties,wanting me to ease their worries,the pain. Who I am and who I will be is and always was, irrelevant. The sands of time want me to do one thing and just that one thing, to spread love into everyone's hearts. But will I ever get a fraction of the love I give to others? No matter how much I love myself, no matter how much i care for myself it will never be the same. I won't ever feel it all I feel is the inspiration and the hallow hush it leaves behind. I do have the privilege to bask into the light I cast onto others and it becomes more aperant that no one wants to give me their's. So it makes me wonder, what's the difference between the life I have now and the life I left behind? Is it the awareness, the knowledge I unfortunately have vs the ignorance of the other? I guess these ponderings will be just that, a wish into the vast void of death where no one seemingly cares. -Phy